Full Moon Reflection

For many of us, asking for support can pose a challenge.

Maybe we don't want to impose, or we feel we should be able to handle it on our own. Some take asking for help as a sign of weakness.

These thoughts often signal undercurrents of guilt, shame, or a sense of smallness.

Left unattended, these feelings can paralyze and inhibit us from seeking the support we need.

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A couple of weeks ago, a group of my nearest and dearest created a campaign inviting the community to donate and help lift the financial burden of treatment.

While the gesture was profoundly touching, I got leveled by something unexpected.

In a recent meditation, a memory surfaced from the days right after my dad's passing back in 1981. I was in the kitchen, and our community had sent plates of cookies, dishes of home-cooked meals, and card after card offering condolences.

It was a gracious and supportive act, yet in my child mind, I remember feeling embarrassed that they thought we needed support. I wanted them to know we were 'fine' and that I could care for myself.

After all, I was eight years old.

In reality, shame was stacked on grief, and grief was stacked on fear.

The trifecta formed a powerful knot that I would subsequently spend decades untying.

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Over the past month, I've saddled up close to that child. I've given him attention, allowed him space, accepted and appreciated all he had to show me.

And while I initially struggled with the call to the community, I can now wholeheartedly receive and celebrate your immense love and support.

On top of this, due to everyone's generosity, I can pursue alternative therapies through the end of 2023 stress-free.

These are extraordinary blessings.

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On this full moon, consider where you might need support and what that looks like?

Is it a conversation with a friend? Is it reaching out to a network or community? Or is it something else?

To garner insight, notice what comes up. Track how it is that you meet yourself in such vulnerable terrain.

What is your relationship to asking for support?

It would be a privilege to hear about any insights that emerge.

With love,
Kevin